Control Freak

This is not the first time I’ve attempted to write on this topic. I’ve even successfully written about it a few times. It’s a theme in my life. An area of consistent struggle that I find myself facing in certain seasons of life. Here it is.

I like to be in control. I’m guessing I’m not the only one. It’s nice to be control…most of the time.

I lead a small group of 10th grade girls on Sunday mornings. Control was our topic of discussion and study this past week. It never fails that the topic is always something that teaches and speaks to me as much…if not more than the girls I’m leading.

Here’s the question I’m faced with today (and every day really):

Who is going to be in charge of my heart? Who is going to be in charge of my relationships? My schedule? My everything?

If it’s going to be me…well, let’s just be honest. I don’t have a very good track record. I screw things up on a consistent basis. And when I screw things up, I tend to want to give up. I feel worthless…like a failure. And why? Because I’m trying to do something I was never meant to do. I’m trying to control when it’s not really my job. I am limited in my abilities. But HE isn’t. “When my ability runs out, Jesus’ ability keeps going.” -Andy Stanley.

So today this is the prayer of my heart….

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