This morning…even as I type this…I’m sitting on a beach in Florida. And God is up to something great here. But as is often the case, before we get to the great God has, we first go through the broken, the rock bottom.
I came out here to worship. To sing some songs. Do a little praying. That was MY plan. God had another. He wants more. He wants it ALL. And I haven’t been giving it ALL.
CONFESSION time: I’m sick of being single. I miss sharing life with someone i love (besides my kids). It’s been twelve years. That’s a long time. And even before that I dated barely two men. I’m less experienced than my own daughter. So I joined EHarmony. The world tells us that if we want something we should go after it. Especially at my age (which isn’t that old). We should take matters into our own hands. Put yourself out there on the market. Be proactive. Be aggressive. (I’m sorry but I’m not a new car. I don’t need to be put on the market.)
But is that what God wants? I’m sitting here in the sand hearing HIS whisper. “NO. Trust me. I’ve got you. Trust my plan. Trust and know that it’s much much better than anything you could come up with for yourself. YOU DON’T NEED TO HELP ME. (Yeah, God yelled at me)
So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m gonna wait. I’m gonna let HIM do HIS thing. I’m gonna be patient. I’m gonna get OK with the possibility that HE might have something else in store for me. I’m gonna get on board with what HE wants.
Here’s what I’m not going to do. I’m not gonna pursue any man but JESUS. I’m not gonna take matter into my own hands, because, frankly, I suck at doing HIS job.
If…when HE brings someone into my life, it won’t be because I made it happen. It will be ALL GOD. And HE get all the glory for it.
In the meantime, I’ll just keep in loving Him, worshipping Him, serving Him, and living this beautiful life that He’s given me.
Another little note: EHarmony just sent me an email. As I was typing this on my phone. The title: What’s really important to you?
Thanks, EHarmony for just confirming what God is speaking. Deleting that profile now. 🙂